Camo Clothing Blog

We were fortunate recently to speak with the much-sought-after Albula Vulpes. Mr. Vulpes resides in the Florida Keys and holds an honorary PhD in marine fisheries and shallow water navigation. What follows is the unedited interview transcript.

Speaking from personal experience, bonefish are a highly intelligent, wary and quite handsome species, and the anglers are many who use every subterfuge imaginable to try to snare what is considered, in the so-called “sport” of fishing, a top prize. Camouflaged clothing appears (or, some might humorously say does not appear) to be one of the more recent ruses. I can assure you that on the flats of the Florida Keys, this attempt at deception simply does not… excuse me for a moment, that lone shrimp looks very tasty, and I see no fishermen in the vicinity….

Editor’s note: Vulpes went for a quick snack, and returned in 15 minutes, looking slightly embarrassed. 

Thank you for waiting. Ohh, my lip… What? Of course, I was merely demonstrating catch and release technique… in the interest of science. 

As I was saying, who are these humans who think they can hide from the keen eye of the bonefish—one of nature’s greatest ocular achievements. No, I am afraid that concealment is impossible considering the heightened senses of the…. I’m sorry, is that a crab? I was preparing for our interview and missed breakfast this morning…. Let me scan the surroundings… ha! It’s lunch time….

Editor’s note: We again waited as Vulpes took another food break. He returned, breathing heavily.

My word, that was exhausting. Just let me catch my breath. Okay. Alright. Proceed. 

Pardon me? Yes, I saw the two fishermen in the boat, pal. No, I did not mistake them for driftwood! Clearly you don’t understand that we have to play along with our fishing visitors to this great state. It’s all part of the Florida tourist program and the southern hospitality deservedly famous in this region…. Didn’t I explain that to you?

Now, where were we? Excellent, let me see that catalog. Yes. Hmm, hmm. I can confirm those clothes are patterned and colored much like what one sees underwater looking skyward. The maker obviously has studied this marine environment and applied it to the attire. It looks quite sporty, too.

But, let me say emphatically that, while it might have some utility in pursuit of the less intelligent species such as snook and those brutish tarpon, this clothing could never dupe the observant and sharp-witted…. Oh, my, I am ravished, and that morsel looks so good….

Excuse me one more time, I won’t be long.

Editor’s note: Vulpes went to grab a bite to eat again. Almost simultaneously, a stealthy, camo-clad fisherman who had waded close to the site of our interview hooked up with what appeared to be a large bonefish that quickly peeled off a good 60 yards of line. As the fight went on, the angler maneuvered away and disappeared behind a low islet. We gave it another 15 minutes and then headed over to a great local place for seafood. The interview made us mighty hungry.